Stage 2 - Walking problems

Having hoped that my speech would be the only manifestation of the impending flare-up, I can now safely state that this is not the case. After a particularly heavy week, everything seems to have been placed on hold, but once the stress died away, I was hit by a collection of symptoms. I usually find that the first days of any holiday I take are pretty much given over to coping with all manner of flu's and sicknesses. I guess I am just lucky that way. It's not easy keeping all health issues at bay until I have time to fully enjoy them and make the most of them. I say that I get annoyed by this is perhaps a gross understatement, but I digress. I do find tangents somewhat fascinating and pursue them with alacrity.

Anyhow, back to the original narrative! These symptoms hit me with celerity on Friday evening. Any plans I had for the weekend had to shelved as the old issues reared their ugly heads, very much like a hydra. Walking became a painful exercise which I thought would be dealt with by a few Nurofens. I am becoming well acquainted with a plethora of pills, unfortunately they are quite temperamental and only appear to work occasionally, and never the occasions when I need them to work. Oops ... another tangent. The mind wanders happily and I let it.

After the nurofens, walking was still an issue, perhaps not as painful as before but 2 new symptoms surfaced to challenge me further, namely lack of balance and severe slurring of speech. If you had seen me in this condition, it would have been so easy to argue that I was drunk. The sad truth is that I had nothing to drink. Perhaps I am a cheap date!

I was unable to fall asleep, mostly because of the "pins and needles" all over my body and perhaps aggravated by both the pills and coffee. Yes ... I know that coffee is bad and will keep you awake, but I needed this fix. I was starting to strangle one of the light horsemen of the apocalypse due to the pains, discomfort and coffee deprivation. It was ugly, but I think Pestilence will make a complete recovery.

These flare-ups are, frankly, tedious. Today's bonus is a headache accompanied by its lifelong spouse, double-vision. Kindly, they left their children, nausea and neck-pain, at home wit a child minder. Thank goodness for small mercies. I will take this on the chin as usual, and try to make the most of it. Let us see what else my MS has in store, because if this is it, then it is not particularly ambitious.

Here we go again

I have lost count by now, but my speech is going all over the place again. The words seem to tumble out of my mouth in a rather haphazard manner. The added dimension, which I find strangely yet humorously intriguing, is the plethora of accents that these random words assume.

The day starts with a rather "over-the-top" almost embarrassing German accent. The W's are pronounced as V's and the other letters of the alphabet are subjected to a similar undignified torture.

As the day progresses my speech switches to a heavy Yiddish accent followed by a distinct American drawl. This change is not as severe as it sounds. It's the lunchtime antipodean accent that causes the most trouble. Why? Because this is the time that most people try to contact me by phone, and it is they who think I am poking fun at them! Normally, this would not be an issue, in fact, I usually enjoy poking fun at everyone given half a chance, but my antipodean accent is so heavy and ludicrously bad, that the mere sound of it offends most people. Compared to me, Crocodile Dundee speaks the Queens English.

By mid-afternoon I have still not exhausted my repertoire of accents and I proceed to inflict on anyone who cares to listen, a lilting Irish accent. This accent I find deeply embarrassing because, quite clearly, I am not Irish.

On particularly good days I may even subject my audience to a really bad French and/or Italian accent. With such a bewildering array of accents at my disposal, I may get into serious trouble.

I have therefore decided that should I need to say anything, then I will need to say in Latin. I may offend my fellow Classicists, but they are few and far between and thus easy to avoid unlike all the other population groups mentioned above.

By the way, this piece was written in an Oxford accent! Hopefully I will wake up tomorrow morning sporting an Italian accent and thus make myself a decent cup of coffee.

Sincerest Apologies

I do apologize most sincerely for not posting anything for a while. Due to an increased workload and various committments, and the fact that I mislaid my soap box, posting has been somewhat less frequent. This was compounded by the fact that nothing serious had happened since the last posting, except for the rather "happy but devil-may-care" attitude I have had towards everything of late. I suppose I could blame the new drug that I am on, however, this may be unfair.

I did read the volume of side-effects that this drug may or may not have. What really annoys me is that all the side-effects are listed as "may or may not", thus "you may or may not experience weight gain" which is immediately followed by "you may or may not experience weight loss". Does anybody else think this is as ridiculous as it sounds? Frankly, this leaves you with no options either way. In the same volume the following appears, "you may or may not experience an increase in appetite, you may or may not experience a loss in appetite, you....". For this reason alone, I cvall it a side-effects volume. It "talks" much but "says" very little.

It must be said that I have experienced a substantial improvement since taking this drug, and it is also "soft-core" as opposed to the more "hard-core" Amytrypteline.

I will keep you updated on this. Promise!

Thank you

In the first instance, I want to thank everyone for their support with regard to my previous posting. I genuinely appreciate this support.

In the second instance, I have had the clinic appointment I spoke of a few weeks ago and discovered that the strange sensations of hot and cold and not being able to tell the difference at times, was not something unique to myself nor was it only in my head. It appears that these sensations are share by many MS sufferers, which is a mixed blessing. The problem here is that nothing can be done about it as yet. Who knows what the future holds, perhaps hormone treatment or surgically implanting a thermometer. In a weird manner, I am looking forward to seeing the solution to this quandary ... and yes I am marginally warped in my outlook on life, but fascinated by such things.

Some of the other symptoms such as the increased pins and needles, the brain pain and the occasional jerk (the reflex and not the person) can be tamed through the use of various drugs. I was prescribed one of these and after a few days I can report that the effects of this beauty can cause vanilla to fly abroad to mascara where the top speed is a barmy 35 degrees Celsius and the dessert is sprinkled with bits of a belt sander usually turned and angle of 45 degrees every 2 years to prevent an increase in pension contributions.

So ... it the previous sentence has warped your mind, then good .... because this is what it feels like to be on these drugs. But I have found out the reason for this ... namely ... wait for it ... everything is out of sync and the way to bring everything, sharply, together again is by consumption of vast quantities of strong coffee followed by a red bull chaser. Once you have picked yourself up off the floor you will find yourself in a Nirvana. Suddenly your mind takes control of the random thoughts and quickly files them where they ought to be and everything makes sense again. I believe the caffeine overload helps, unfortunately it does not last.

These drugs do complicate the world a little, and can cause blips in concentration which result in numerous lost trains of thought. So be careful and be aware of this. But most importantly, these drugs do help. Some of these drugs are usually prescribed to alleviate depression, however, as a smaller dose they prove to have other benefits with perhaps only a hint antidepressant.

One definite benefit I discovered was a dramatic improvement in the quality and quantity of my heckling. To the mind and soul, this can only be good for me.

As always, take care and strengthen your mind.

Health and Safety versus Disability Discrimination

I have Multiple Sclerosis and, as such, my conditions varies day by day. Most people are aware of this and adjust accordingly. The nature of my job necessitates working away from my desk at times, for which I am unrepentantly thankful, and on occasion may require me to ascend a ladder or transport moderately heavy items. In this instance moderately heavy may justly be defined as anything slightly heavier than a laptop and and slightly lighter than 2 laptops. I find the laptop scale a useful means for measuring weight, however, I fear that I may be in the minority on this one.

During periods when my MS does not impede my mobility, this is not an issue and I happily continue with my work (with a song in my heart and a whistle upon my lips), however, when my mobility is questionable then I do require assistance. Being an adult and capable of making quantifiable risk assessments, I would not perform tasks I was unable to perform. This decision has been taken away from me, in the first instance, and I have been forbidden to use ladders (even though I have had the required ladder training within the last year), in the second instance, and furthermore, I am unable to perform my duties based on someone else’s opinion.

It has thus been argued that I require an assistant in order to complete my duties, which is a falsehood, and that the cost of such an assistant would not be feasible for my employer. Thus, it is argued, as I pose a serious and unacceptable risk in the fulfilment of my duties, under the Health & Safety guidelines, it would be in everyone’s best interest to assist me in finding employment elsewhere. In other words, "we don't like your kind around these parts!".

Hence, my disability (and not my amply proven ability to perform the work) is being used to highlight the risks posed by me on the employer under the H&S Act. Clearly, my employer is treading on dangerous territory here, and what's worse is that they have annoyed me. If their intention is discover what they can do to prevent exacerbating my condition, then just say so. However, the way that they chose to deal with this is exacerbating my condition. These silly letters and opinions exacerbate my condition. Decisions about me, and my future, without involving me, exacerbate my condition. All these exacerbate my condition. I wish they would just let me get on with doing what I am brilliant at, namely my job!

The point about this post is to warn any disabled people about a looming menace,with ferocious teeth, a bad haircut and crossed eyes. Health and Safety is a must. Compliance with the Disability Discrimination Act is a must. The DDA will protect you from virtually all unfairness, but H&S will be your Achilles Heel. Unscrupulous employers seeking to shed staff may resort to H&S to circumvent the DDA. Be careful! Here are some very useful links.

http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts1995/ukpga_19950050_en_1
http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts2005/ukpga_20050013_en_1
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/RightsAndObligations/DisabilityRights/DG_4001068
http://www.healthandsafety.co.uk/hsw.htm
http://www.hse.gov.uk/legislation/hswa.htm

Not all pain!

Not all Multiple Sclerosis symptoms are accompanied by aches and pains, in fact, most of them are not. Most symptoms are, however, accompanied by some degree of discomfort and/or awkwardness. Most symptoms are of the type "Oh ... um... that's strange!Is it supposed to do that or feel like that?!" The signals get garbled, and then things do the unexpected.

I have stated the MS is an adventure, however, it is not always a pleasant one. Focusing on the negatives would be all too easy, but this is true of virtually all disabilities or illnesses. This way madness lies, and so too the path towards depression. Depression is destructive and can be treated. MS sufferers should speak to their doctors about depression an soon as possible and try to establish whether they suffer from it. It requires the sufferer to be very honest with him/herself, and seek treatment if they are diagnosed with depression. This diagnosis must be done by a professional of the medical society.

I have spotted from numerous forums and news groups that a variety of medical, non-medical and illegal drugs are used within the global MS community. These are used to assist with anything from sleep disorders to bladder control. The variety is absolutely staggering, but not one mention was made of Viagra. From personal experience, I can understand why but it is also very reassuring or should be for males in general.

Most importantly, fight depression. It affects you and those you love or love you. Its dangerous and destroys anything in its path, indiscriminately.

Midnight Discomfort

So ... There I was! Lying on my bed, covered by my favourite blanket, blissfully waiting to be engulfed by the sweet embrace of delicious sleep. My body started relaxing, and SUDDENLY it started! A familiar and uncomfortable sensation. It usually starts in the feet, slowly and deliberately moving towards the shin, then steadily crawling towards my chest. Surely this has to be some kind of bug or creature that found its way under my blanket ... so my next move is to leap out of bed - with much caution because the first time I did this I almost killed myself-, fling back the blanket and proceed to finding the intruder. However, as so often before, nothing can be found. There is no bug. No bedbug, no flea!

The midnight discomfort feels like 1000 ants decided to go on a midnight march, using my body as an obstacle course. It is not painful at all, but it is ticklish and itchy. It is tortuous and prevents me from sleeping. I have tried blocking it out, but failed dismally. Having another shower does not help either. The only thing I have not tried is sleeping with a sackcloth blanket.

Any suggestions on dealing with this will be most welcome.