Relief and anger

After 6 days since the beginning of the latest event/episode, there is finally relief at the realization that things are returning to normal. All systems are functioning as expected and no permanent damage is evident ... yet! Sometimes damage only becomes evident after two or three weeks, and usually takes the form of an inability to perform some mundane action that was easily performed before and is now no longer possible.

This latest episode affected my legs and feet in the first instance. I then felt the left side of my face starting to slide southwards, trying to drag the right side of my face with it. Looking into a mirror did not reveal much, except for a slight loss of muscle tone and perhaps a marginal delay in the response to any stimulus. The frightening aspect of this all, is that it so closely mirrored a stroke in the first signs, things like slurred speech (or the inability to correctly form words), the smile being less obvious on the affected side and weakness on one side of the body. Unlike a stroke, the weakness I experienced was in both of my legs, my right arm and the left side of my face. Having experienced similar symptoms before and not diagnosed as having experienced a stroke, you may well think that I experienced a Transient Ischaemic Attack (TIA), however, this did not happen to me. I guess I was just born lucky. But, very importantly, if you experience this, then you MUST seek immediate medical attention ... immediate ... not tomorrow or next week, but immediate. Let a diagnosis tell you whether you experienced a stroke or not. Just because you have MS, it does not necessarily follow that you will be immune to, or spared, anything else.

Another rather more annoying side effect is the social aspect of such an episode as I experienced. I frequently have difficulty with mobility, but that hardly seems to slow me down. I am possible one of the most obstinate people you may ever have the misfortune to meet. But I digress, as usual! These mobility issues do not go unnoticed, much to my annoyance, with many kind and gentle people worrying and offering assistance. I always graciously decline and thank them for their concern, however, some who cannot be classed in the same league take this as a sign of weakness or a reason to institute change. I am currently experiencing one of the latter processes. As a disabled person, the first thing you must do is get your back up and put on the meanest face you can possibly manage. In my present situation, my "compatibility with current employment" is the focus, and the way that this is being addressed is by attempting to get me to agree to my employers contacting my doctors. In all fairness, this may be legitimate in many cases ... but not mine. I use my mind more than anything else ... and there is nothing wrong with my mind. I may occasionally experience difficulty in walking and talking, but I never have any difficulty thinking and analyzing. Furthermore, and this is very important, any such compatibility must be assessed using your written job description as found on your contract, and not based on both the job description and the extra activities that you may have taken on. It is natural, for example, to use a ladder to perform a simple task such as putting a book on the top shelf. Activities that you would not think twice about. But, as this may not be in your job description, it cannot be used against you.

If there is nothing else that you find useful in this blog, then at least make a note of the following. Know your rights as a disabled person, and SEEK legal advice. Do not sign ANYTHING until you have sought legal advice and know all the facts and repercussions. The Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) is your best friend and will help you, but it cannot help you if you have signed something away. Any person who wants access to your medical records, or any of your other records, must have your consent in order to do so. But furthermore, it is your right to demand an answer, in writing, the reason for this request and the use to which this information will be put or the intention for such a request. Finally, it is also your right to refuse to give consent, however, it is likely that if you do refuse to do this then the employer may claim that "the inability to obtain up-to-date medical information may affect decisions about your future employment with the...". Thus placing you in an almost impossible position. Roll in the DDA, Disability resource centre and a legal advisor on employment.

Do not be bullied!