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Sunday 28 June 2009

Stage 2 - Walking problems

Having hoped that my speech would be the only manifestation of the impending flare-up, I can now safely state that this is not the case. After a particularly heavy week, everything seems to have been placed on hold, but once the stress died away, I was hit by a collection of symptoms. I usually find that the first days of any holiday I take are pretty much given over to coping with all manner of flu's and sicknesses. I guess I am just lucky that way. It's not easy keeping all health issues at bay until I have time to fully enjoy them and make the most of them. I say that I get annoyed by this is perhaps a gross understatement, but I digress. I do find tangents somewhat fascinating and pursue them with alacrity.

Anyhow, back to the original narrative! These symptoms hit me with celerity on Friday evening. Any plans I had for the weekend had to shelved as the old issues reared their ugly heads, very much like a hydra. Walking became a painful exercise which I thought would be dealt with by a few Nurofens. I am becoming well acquainted with a plethora of pills, unfortunately they are quite temperamental and only appear to work occasionally, and never the occasions when I need them to work. Oops ... another tangent. The mind wanders happily and I let it.

After the nurofens, walking was still an issue, perhaps not as painful as before but 2 new symptoms surfaced to challenge me further, namely lack of balance and severe slurring of speech. If you had seen me in this condition, it would have been so easy to argue that I was drunk. The sad truth is that I had nothing to drink. Perhaps I am a cheap date!

I was unable to fall asleep, mostly because of the "pins and needles" all over my body and perhaps aggravated by both the pills and coffee. Yes ... I know that coffee is bad and will keep you awake, but I needed this fix. I was starting to strangle one of the light horsemen of the apocalypse due to the pains, discomfort and coffee deprivation. It was ugly, but I think Pestilence will make a complete recovery.

These flare-ups are, frankly, tedious. Today's bonus is a headache accompanied by its lifelong spouse, double-vision. Kindly, they left their children, nausea and neck-pain, at home wit a child minder. Thank goodness for small mercies. I will take this on the chin as usual, and try to make the most of it. Let us see what else my MS has in store, because if this is it, then it is not particularly ambitious.

Thursday 18 June 2009

Here we go again

I have lost count by now, but my speech is going all over the place again. The words seem to tumble out of my mouth in a rather haphazard manner. The added dimension, which I find strangely yet humorously intriguing, is the plethora of accents that these random words assume.

The day starts with a rather "over-the-top" almost embarrassing German accent. The W's are pronounced as V's and the other letters of the alphabet are subjected to a similar undignified torture.

As the day progresses my speech switches to a heavy Yiddish accent followed by a distinct American drawl. This change is not as severe as it sounds. It's the lunchtime antipodean accent that causes the most trouble. Why? Because this is the time that most people try to contact me by phone, and it is they who think I am poking fun at them! Normally, this would not be an issue, in fact, I usually enjoy poking fun at everyone given half a chance, but my antipodean accent is so heavy and ludicrously bad, that the mere sound of it offends most people. Compared to me, Crocodile Dundee speaks the Queens English.

By mid-afternoon I have still not exhausted my repertoire of accents and I proceed to inflict on anyone who cares to listen, a lilting Irish accent. This accent I find deeply embarrassing because, quite clearly, I am not Irish.

On particularly good days I may even subject my audience to a really bad French and/or Italian accent. With such a bewildering array of accents at my disposal, I may get into serious trouble.

I have therefore decided that should I need to say anything, then I will need to say in Latin. I may offend my fellow Classicists, but they are few and far between and thus easy to avoid unlike all the other population groups mentioned above.

By the way, this piece was written in an Oxford accent! Hopefully I will wake up tomorrow morning sporting an Italian accent and thus make myself a decent cup of coffee.

Wednesday 10 June 2009

Sincerest Apologies

I do apologize most sincerely for not posting anything for a while. Due to an increased workload and various committments, and the fact that I mislaid my soap box, posting has been somewhat less frequent. This was compounded by the fact that nothing serious had happened since the last posting, except for the rather "happy but devil-may-care" attitude I have had towards everything of late. I suppose I could blame the new drug that I am on, however, this may be unfair.

I did read the volume of side-effects that this drug may or may not have. What really annoys me is that all the side-effects are listed as "may or may not", thus "you may or may not experience weight gain" which is immediately followed by "you may or may not experience weight loss". Does anybody else think this is as ridiculous as it sounds? Frankly, this leaves you with no options either way. In the same volume the following appears, "you may or may not experience an increase in appetite, you may or may not experience a loss in appetite, you....". For this reason alone, I cvall it a side-effects volume. It "talks" much but "says" very little.

It must be said that I have experienced a substantial improvement since taking this drug, and it is also "soft-core" as opposed to the more "hard-core" Amytrypteline.

I will keep you updated on this. Promise!