New damage?

A new development, over the past few days, has raised its ugly and monstrous head . On Sunday I started experiencing a little discomfort in my legs, which I did not heed. By Monday morning, this had progressed to increased discomfort with the addition of reduced walking abilities. By noon, had to admit that it was probably unwise to stay at work, particularly as I was in agony. The sensation was akin to hot needles being fired all along the inside of my legs. This sensation of extreme heat then spread to the outside of my legs. Every step I took brought on a renewed barrage of "hot needles" attacking the inside of my legs.

Once I got home, I was unable to move more than 20 steps without stopping until the pain subsided. Foolishly, I thought this had all disappeared over night, and happily proceeded to work this morning. I say happily, firstly, because I do enjoy my work very much, and secondly, because staying at home is not for me. When I got to work the pains started coming back, not very aggressive but certainly enough to warrant notice and caution.

By lunchtime I was back in the same situation as the previous day, but being stubborn, foolish and engrossed in what I was busy doing, I stayed on ... and am now paying the price for such a display of gross stupidity and wanton recklessness. I am now in exquisite agony, the burning sensation spreading upwards into my back, and down my right arm. Writing this post is not only difficult, but also painful.

As any MS sufferer will tell you, before the onset of either a relapse or flare-up, certain triggers are activated. Most sufferers recognize their particular triggers and can anticipate difficulty ahead, but never quite knowing when it will happen or what will be affected. So ... you are stuck with a warning light but no clue about anything else. It comes as a surprise to everyone when it finally happens. For example, the trigger may be that your legs hurt in a particular manner but the result is that either your arms cease to function or that your ears pop off.

These triggers vary from one type of MS to another, and even from one person to another. MS is very odd this way because no two sufferers will have identical experiences, and yet the end result is the same, namely scarring of some kind in the body. Multiple Sclerosis means "many scars". Unfortunately, the scarring is often not only physical, but this is a topic for another time.

One thing that does concern me about this present event, is the fact that these pains and resultant mobility challenges are new. I have not felt these before. According to the specialists, relapses are new damage and flare-ups are old damage reactivated. This feels like new damage, and although I do really like the people at the clinic, I do not wish to visit them for another treatment. I believe Campath helps but the treatment is harsh, and the subsequent isolation mind-numbing. The isolation is necessary to prevent exposure to a plethora of dangers which, without an immune system, could be debilitating if not fatal. Considering that I have daily contact with students, this becomes a serious matter for me ... and I have to start playing"where in the picture is Wally" with me being Wally.

So ... at present I am in a state of high anxiety, hoping to avoid another treatment while trying to find ingenious ways of getting to work (i.e. out of the house)!
{Queue in "the Great Escape" theme tune}