Concentration span .... gone!

Recently I have noticed something that particularly bothers me. The background is quick and simple. I am an academic through and through, undeniably and unequivocally. I have always prided myself in my mental abilities and agilities. I have always been able to completely immerse myself in any subject matter and remain at a state of high concentration for particularly long periods. During normal conversations, I easily follow the topic and, equally, can discuss complex subject matter without losing my train of thought. My brain has been my joy.

A new development has suddenly reared it's monstrous head ... for me anyway. Although I can still immerse myself in any subject matter and maintain gargantuan periods of concentration, the same is not true for normal conversation. During such conversations I will happily discuss the present subject matter and suddenly ... without warning ... the very next words that were on the verge of being formed in my mouth are erased from my mind and cunningly replaced by totally unrelated words. Words that have no bearing on the subject being discussed. Words that make no sense ... even to myself!

The look of utter consternation on my target's face clearly indicates to me that this has happened. This look is soon followed by another, that of disbelief! My intention is not to mess with their minds, however, I find myself wrestling with mine. Bringing my kicking and screaming mind back to the original topic, while maintaining an air of dignity and still trying to figure out how to make what I just uttered relevant to the topic, is ... quite frankly a Herculean task and entirely exhausting.

I do not believe that this happens to me due to either a particularly boring subject matter or person, because I have a completely different way of dealing with such instances. Furthermore, I clearly remember that the topic did interest me. During a normal loss of train of thought, one has the ability to still see the track if not the train. In my scenario there is no train and no track. It is a void.

According to the specialists in MS, trouble with concentration is one of the more regular complaints that sufferers share. I do not feel that my powers of concentration are diminishing in any manner, however, nothing else explains this event. Or is there? Perhaps it is a single neuron, the one whose sole task was to hold a train of thought, that suddenly and inexplicably misfired or, alternatively, decided to drop the connection and observe the chaos at my expense.

The mind is such a powerful organ, and yet it is also fragile. One little misfire and the intricate mechanisms, that make it work the way it does, are thrown into disarray. I still believe that a strong mind is essential in fighting MS. In the meantime, I may just stop wrestling it back to the original topic of conversation, and let it run rampant, recklessly and with "arms" in the air, along the new train of thought. I do empathize with people who will be at the receiving end of this ... but I really must have some fun too! You have been warned.